Welcoming Doomsday

In the event you hadn’t heard, most likely because the mainstream media is too afraid to publish anything that will show Muslims in a bad light, which might equal horrible ratings in a politically correct world, tomorrow, August 22nd, 2006, is some sort of Islamic doomsday, in which the 12th Imam makes his return to the world that his spirit and essence left some thousands of years ago.

To be honest, I don’t know who the 12th Imam is, but everyone in Iran does. If you remember that movie Stigmata, Patricia Arquette undertook the identity of a priest who passed away under unfortunate circumstances. On that note, I can’t think of any time that passing away wouldn’t be an unfortunate circumstance, but that’s another blog post for another day. Anyway, according to Islamic scholars, all of whom believe that tomorrow will be the end-of-days (similar to the apocalypse in the Christian faith) will result in Mohammed ibn Hasan, a direct descendent of the Prophet Muhammad, becoming the 12 Imam in an Arquette-esque fashion. Along with this will come fire, brimstone, and a ultra-fast erasure of everything we know due to a final confrontation between good and evil.

Taking a step out of Islamic folklore, I see a few possible outcomes from tomorrow’s big day:

1. Muslims will continue to act like dumbasses, and attempt to use this day as a reason to strike-down infidels;

2. Terrorists will unleash a grand strike in an attempt to perpetuate what they believe to be the end of days;

3. Islam will show its true colors once again.

Now, these are only guesses, but they’re pretty well researched and time-tested. Iran is at the center of this end-of-days scenario, and I don’t think they’ve been working on nukes just because it sounded like a good idea at the time. Even maniacs have the ability to use foresight and malice aforethought when committing heinous acts. I’m not one to use scare tactics, and I’ll be the last one to start theorizing about what could happen, what will happen, and what should happen, mostly due to the fact that we’re dealing with unstable individuals who think so unlike us that it’s nearly impossible to get into their heads without suffering a total and complete nervous breakdown, but I do think it’s an interesting study in hysteria in the making.